Split Personality

Split personality in my definition would be a person with 2 characters or more. In whatsoever situation, the person handling this in order to satisfy his/her needs or other people needs.

I do think that I do have split personality. At first I thought it is a 'pretend' but then it seams not. It is still me. Weird enough to believe but it's true.

In my past, since childhood, I was tought accidently to keep other person happy. Even letting go something that was very valuable to me. As a small innocent child, automatically by doing this transform me to be a very independent kid especially in getting love from the parents. I was not being abused nor being neglected by my parents but I have an older sister that have all the special attention including taking all the attention suppose focusing on me, diverted to her.

As a result, I became a kid that didn't bother if being left unattended. No voice from the heart shouting, demanding justice or wanting to rebel. I become a kid that seldom speaks but still controlling my manners. Soft-spoken, soft-hearted, helpful, caring and etc.

Then when I become older, I change a bit as I have to protect myself from being a 'prey' to other selfish people or other cruelty that might happen even I am not involved directly. I tought and phsyco myself to be bold, brave to voice out even in sarcastic or sinical words, learn to be as what I am not before. I make an example of other people's traits and I copied their characthers which are necessary for me to adapt. I have to survive and try to stay strong. That's my sole intention.

Am I comfortable? Which one is the real me? I dont know.

kak naa

about MYSELF

Plain salt of the earth. That's pretty much me. There's nothing much to write about myself.

Not an interesting story. To begin with, I'm an ordinary lady, originated from Perlis. Travel far from Perlis to KL just to have a turnaround in life, instead of doing normal chores at home and gambling with nature of life that seldom change in Perlis. I went far from my hometown for a change or at least have a boost in life to be better. Better than nothing.

Why do I have an english blog? My english is not that good or fluent, practically. I might say that I adore this language very much and I also know, if I dont do anything to improvise, then I'll be using only my bahasa Malaysia all my life. It's not that I am not proud of my national language but I want to be a bilingual person or multi-bilingual(If I have the chance).

This is one of my effort to brush up my english. I hope it work. And I also hope my spirit in learning will never go dim.

kak naa