Split Personality

Split personality in my definition would be a person with 2 characters or more. In whatsoever situation, the person handling this in order to satisfy his/her needs or other people needs.

I do think that I do have split personality. At first I thought it is a 'pretend' but then it seams not. It is still me. Weird enough to believe but it's true.

In my past, since childhood, I was tought accidently to keep other person happy. Even letting go something that was very valuable to me. As a small innocent child, automatically by doing this transform me to be a very independent kid especially in getting love from the parents. I was not being abused nor being neglected by my parents but I have an older sister that have all the special attention including taking all the attention suppose focusing on me, diverted to her.

As a result, I became a kid that didn't bother if being left unattended. No voice from the heart shouting, demanding justice or wanting to rebel. I become a kid that seldom speaks but still controlling my manners. Soft-spoken, soft-hearted, helpful, caring and etc.

Then when I become older, I change a bit as I have to protect myself from being a 'prey' to other selfish people or other cruelty that might happen even I am not involved directly. I tought and phsyco myself to be bold, brave to voice out even in sarcastic or sinical words, learn to be as what I am not before. I make an example of other people's traits and I copied their characthers which are necessary for me to adapt. I have to survive and try to stay strong. That's my sole intention.

Am I comfortable? Which one is the real me? I dont know.

kak naa